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“Two man-rat cyar live in de same hole!”

Clyde Holmes, the husband and father in the TTMF puppet family, has some advice to share about living with relatives and the importance of seeking your independence.

The Holmes Household

Growing up, it was always nice to come home to a full house. My mother and father took turns cooking us dinner and if I got home early enough from cricket practice I would help with the stewed chicken or pelau. We each had chores to do too – I would empty the dust bin and my brother would sweep the kitchen. My grandmother lived with us as well, and she would always make me a cup of Milo if I was up late studying. I loved the close-knit relationships we shared and that made me look forward to when my wife, Julia, and I moved in together to start our own home.

Two man-rat

Before Julia and I made the big step to move in together, my dad sat me down and gave me advice that I would never forget. He told me, “Son, two man-rat cyar live in de same hole”, and explained that two stubborn people (or people with strong opinions) can find it challenging to live under the same roof. He went on to say that we were lucky growing up that we had found balance with everyone but it didn’t come easy, especially with my grandmother and him both having varying opinions about what was best. His advice was 3 main things:

1. Where possible, it helps for everyone to have their own space

My dad made sure granny had her own bedroom so they could each have quiet time and not be on top of each other too much.

2. Agree on chores and responsibilities

This way each person takes care of different tasks around the house and there isn’t one person doing all the work.

3. Communicate

If something is bothering you, or you have an idea about a helpful new way to do something, then it benefits everyone to have a discussion about it.

Independence

In addition to the above, I think it’s important to take the next big step to move out on your own once you are ready. Julia and I went through the motions by leaving both our parents’ homes and taking the steps towards home ownership. Next, it will be my younger brother’s turn to move out of the Holmes household and also work towards owning his own home.

Learning about the home ownership process

I shared this link with my brother recently, and I hope this also helps you if you are thinking you are ready to move out on your own: https://www.ttmf-mortgages.com/mortgage-financing/buy-a-home

This covers some of the steps involved in owning a home and is a great place to start learning about the process. Best of luck, and let us know if you have any questions in the comments below!